


Oh Captain, my Captain

by JessicaMariana



Category: Cabin Pressure
Genre: Anal Sex, Dildos, Drunkenness, First Time, Fluff and Smut, Light Angst, M/M, Misunderstandings, Oral Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-23
Updated: 2014-10-18
Packaged: 2018-02-18 13:14:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2349668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JessicaMariana/pseuds/JessicaMariana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Martin has for long denied his feelings towards Douglas, but one day when Douglas asks him (as a joke) if he'd date him, he discovers the truth behind Martin's awkwardness around him. And after laughing at Martin's stuttering confession, he starts to take things more seriously, little by little.<br/>But not everything is going well. Martin has other issues: He has to make the decision about the job offer he got from Swiss Air, and tell the crew of MJN about it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Martin's feelings for Douglas

Douglas smiled a crooked smile, glancing at Martin from the corner of his eye.

"Well, what about cabin crew, then?" he asked curiously.

Martin had for a long time had troubles with his love life. It was still a popular topic of Douglas’ whenever they were in the flight deck alone, and today was no exception.

"To be honest neither Carolyn nor Arthur quite float my boat," Martin replied with a frown.

There was only the shortest pause of silence as Martin braced himself for the question he knew was coming, though as a joke Douglas but not for him.

"And me?" Douglas asked, a tone of pride mixed with honest curiosity in his voice.

There it was. Douglas' words echoed in Martin's head as he tried to decide whether to answer it or not. He didn't. But he could feel the heat rise in his face, colouring his cheeks a deeper red than they usually were. He avoided further eye contact.

Douglas' smile grew and he let out a gleeful "oh" of mock surprise. It wasn’t a surprise. He'd long known that Martin had some kind of unspoken feelings for his colleague, but how strong they were was another question. Martin had on several occasions rejected going out with Douglas for drinks; he'd blushed and stuttered when they'd gotten too close when walking past each other on the plane; he'd once even excused himself from the flight deck when Douglas had been playing around, making noises he thought Martin would have made if he'd been with a woman.

"Martin, I know."

Martin dared a side-ways glance at Douglas; he'd turned in his seat to face him.

"Know----- know what?" Martin stuttered nervously.

"It's written all over your face," Douglas said. "I know the answer."

No other words were needed. Martin gave up with a long sigh; having denied it himself for such a long time now it felt tough to lie about. Besides, Martin was an awful liar. He took a deep breath, though trembling, and closed his eyes. He didn't want to have to look Douglas in the eye when he made his confession.

"Fine. Yes." Martin said. "You got me. I have been... trying... to hide my feelings for you." His voice began to shake, he could feel the all-too-familiar lump in his throat begin to grow and swallowed, but it didn’t help. His eyes stung and he wanted nothing else but to leave the flight deck.

Douglas moved at his side and before Martin knew it his hand was on top of Martin's right forearm. Martin opened his eyes and looked at the warm hand resting against his epaulets. It felt nice; comforting and sincere. He looked at his colleague and shook the hand off and excused himself to the loo.

“What’s the matter with me?” Martin asked himself after locking the door behind him. He took a couple of deep breaths, though trembling, and leaned against the tiny sink. He looked at himself in the scratched old mirror and wasn’t surprised to see his face, redder than ever, and the beginning of tears misting up his eyes.

“Hold it together, you’re the captain,” he told himself. “Douglas is just teasing you! Nothing else. He was joking when he asked that. A joke. That’s all it was.”

He sighed and turned on the tap to wash off his face.

A few minutes later he returned to the flight deck, determined to pretend like nothing had happened, and to his satisfaction Douglas let the subject drop.

 

>>><<<

 

Martin found himself lost in his fantasies of what it would be like to actually date Douglas. He imagined nothing would change with how Douglas made fun of him for being so awkward most of the time, but he also thought they could have some great times together: late nights or early mornings after work; Douglas dropping him off; a chaste kiss in the front seat of his car before parting; keeping it a secret from Carolyn and Arthur...

"Martin?" A female voice called his name. "Martin!" It called again in a sing-song tone.

Martin blinked and realised he was still in the flight deck. Had he dozed off in the middle of his shift?

"Are you fit to fly?" Carolyn inquired sternly from behind him.

Martin turned to look at her apologetically.

"I'm so sorry, Carolyn," he said. "I was just... I think I'm going to need some coffee. Where's Douglas?"

The first officer's seat was empty, and he couldn't possibly be hiding behind their chief as the flight deck was so small.

"Douglas is God-knows-where. I don't care as long as there is another pilot at the controls," Carolyn explained and then added, rather to herself than to Martin: "Though now I'm beginning to wonder if I might after all, seeing as you are in this condition. And if you want coffee," she added again to Martin's ears. "you should ask Arthur to bring you some! Don't you know this already?"

"Yes, of course, Carolyn."

Just as Martin had buzzed the intercom and talked to Arthur, Douglas came back in and Carolyn left, shutting the door behind her. The flight deck fell into silence. Martin had no idea how to handle this sort of situation so he felt awkward. Usually he'd just ask a girl out and leave the premises after the answer, but he was stuck now. There was nowhere for him to go, he had a job to do for another five hours, and it was by Douglas' side. He had to lighten the air somehow.

Douglas on the other hand didn't feel awkward. That was just the way he was: relaxed incarnate. Sure, he wondered what Martin was thinking about, and what he could say without making the situation worse, but he felt rather good.

"Tell me, Martin," he said casually, unable to contain his curiosity. "How long?"

"How long what?" Martin asked, still pretending to focus on the empty space in front of them.

"How long have you been in love with me? Or isn’t it love; is it lust?" Douglas' voice dripped of honey as he uttered these words.

Martin tried not to think of what it sounded like but the words they consisted of. He thought back to when he'd started at MJN Air: it wasn't quite that far back. In the beginning he hadn't been very fond of Douglas - the way he walked into a room and just owned it. But then he'd started to find it a bit charming - even the way he took control over most situations without trying. And gradually he'd found that he started feeling ill at ease around his colleague; blushing at every smile he received; stuttering out every reply. The stutters he had learned to manage with much determination, but the blush was uncontrollable.

"So?" Douglas pushed on.

"I don't know," Martin replied quietly.

"I see."

Douglas let the subject go for now and returned to his job. Moments later Arthur came in with coffees and they started to play another word game. The remaining four and a half hours went by faster than Martin had hoped for, and when the plane was shut down, the passengers were off and Carolyn had left the premises, Martin turned to Douglas.

"Uhm, Douglas, I just wanted to, uhm..." Martin wasn't sure what he was saying, it was as if his mind was working on its own. He took a deep breath and tried again. "Douglas."

"Yes, Captain?" Douglas yawned and stretched in his seat, raising his arms above his head.

"Will you go out with me?" There was only the slightest pause before Martin began to patter, hoping Douglas would ignore his question, talking as fast as he could. "I mean, just for a drink. Just a drink. Or maybe you'd just like to go to home. I shouldn't have asked you anything. Ignore that. Me. I mean, ignore me. I don't know what I'm saying anymore." Martin let out a small whimper of defeat and got out of his seat, opened the flight deck locker and pulled out his bag. He was just opening the door when Douglas rose and grabbed him by the wrist.

"Martin," he said calmly. "Sit down. Please?"

Martin couldn't do anything but obey - it was highly unusual for Douglas to plead. He sat back down and looked at Douglas, rubbing his eyes because they'd gone moist with tears of embarrassment and frustration over his own stupidity. Why did he try to sort things out? He should have just waited for Douglas to do it, as always; left the matter alone; denied its existence.

"I wouldn't mind going out for a drink," Douglas said, smiling, and it wasn't sardonic, but warm - genuine. "And if you enjoy it, because I'm sure I will, then we could... say... have dinner? My treat, of course."

Was Douglas asking him out on a date? Martin couldn’t believe his ears.

"Y- you mean... like a date?" Martin asked just to be sure. Lord knows he'd made the mistake of assuming it had been one with women before when it hadn’t been.

"Yes, Martin, I am asking you out."

Martin searched Douglas' face for any sign of pretence, but there wasn't any. He breathed a sigh of relief and smiled as best he could and nodded.

"Good," Douglas smiled back at him.

 

>>><<<

 

That night, in his small attic room, Martin lay awake on his bed, still fully clothed not having bothered to change out of his uniform, and stared at the dark wooden ceiling. He thought back on the ride home: Douglas had offered, and Martin preferred it to using public transport as Douglas didn’t charge him. In the car, parked by the side of the road in front of the house, Douglas had said nothing more than goodnight. But his hand had freely moved down from the gear lever to grasp Martin’s hand which rested on his thigh, stroking the top of it slowly with his his thumb. Martin placed his other hand on top of Douglas’ and smiled, said goodnight, and left.

“Stupid,” Martin cursed himself in the darkness and pulled out the pillow from under his head to slam it over his face. “Stupid, stupid, stupid! Why do I always have to be such an idiot?”

He sighed and threw the pillow onto the floor, turned over on his stomach and rolled his hips against the mattress. In all the emotional confusion images of Douglas had taken over his mind and they went from memories to fantasies; first Douglas was just smiling at him, sitting in the first officer’s seat; all of a sudden his shirt was off and he was leaning over Martin, kissing his bare, freckled chest. Martin turned to reject the image, but it didn’t help, he now imagined Douglas kissing his back, his shoulder blades, down the curve of his spine. Martin shivered at the thought, his entire body trembled with it. He was getting hot and undeniably aroused. He whimpered when his hardening length rubbed against the duvet beneath him as he shifted his hips once more.

“Shit,” he cried. He turned back onto his back and shoved his hand inside the front of his uniform trousers and started stroking. There was no turning back now. He let the images of Douglas fill his mind, welcoming them into every sexual fantasy he’d ever had involving other men, replacing the other - before faceless - men with Douglas.

 

>>><<<

 

The sun shone brightly between dark, thick clouds the next afternoon as Martin made his way downstairs, fully dressed and ready to leave for work. He didn’t feel as relaxed as one would with a night like the one he’d had. He felt depressed. He’d given in to delusions and now he had to face the real thing because Douglas was just pulling up by the curb outside. Martin took a final look in the hallway mirror, straightened his tie, placed his hat under his arm and put on his shoes.

“Good morning, captain,” Douglas greeted him as he got into the passenger seat of the Lexus.  
“Good----- uhm, good morning,” Martin replied. “Douglas.”

“Feeling chipper I see,” Douglas noted with sarcasm.

“Thanks to you!” Martin blurted out without thinking.

“Me? How so?” Douglas turned to face him with a knowing sneer.

Martin blushed, a deep red spreading across his freckled cheeks in a matter of seconds. He stuttered, trying to come up with a lie, any lie, but he realised it would never work on Douglas - Douglas saw through them all. So he took a deep breath, steadying himself for the impact of another confession.

“You! Yes, you!” he shouted for some reason. Maybe it was easier to get it out, not having to repeat himself. “You with your bloody smile, and your----- Dammit!”

“And my?” Douglas pressed on, but Martin wouldn’t finish the sentence. The images of last night still played in his mind and made him flustered. And to his horror, his cock gave an interested twitch. Martin cursed himself.

Douglas sighed, a sign of him giving up the topic for the moment, but before started the car and drove off towards the airfield, he leaned across to the other seat and pressed a gentle kiss on Martin’s cheek to which Martin could only snort nervously.

 

>>><<<

 

“All set and ready to take off,” Douglas chimed.

“Thank you,” Martin said as the plane started its journey up the runway. He was still feeling a bit down, mostly being let down by his own body, but it wasn’t as tense as it had been the day before. Douglas’ peck had lifted his spirits somewhat. He had a feeling that he could actually manage an ordinary flight.

“So, Martin. How’s later this evening?”  
“What’s later?” Martin was confused and looked over at his colleague.

“Drinks. You and me - a date: later tonight, after work?”

“Later?” Martin’s nerves were tangling together at the thought and his stomach lurched uncomfortably inside him. He grasped the controls tighter.

Yes, Martin’s head shouted at him. Say yes you idiot! It’s not as if it could get any worse.

“If you want to know what it’s like dating me, though we all know it’s a delight, we should actually go on a date, don’t you think?” Douglas stated, glancing at his colleague, smiling that all-too-familiar smile that made Martin’s cheeks heat up. “Oh, let your hair down; it’s just drinks!”  
“Alright!” Martin exclaimed with frustration. He wasn’t angry at Douglas for saying that, but at himself for being so indecisive.

“It’s a date, then,” Douglas chuckled.

Martin couldn’t help but smile back: all of a sudden he felt at ease, like nothing could bring him down - he was a kite soaring in the wind. He had a date.

Oh, God, I have a date! Martin thought to himself, his eyes widening in realisation. He hadn’t had a date for ages. But then again it was Douglas, he could take control and wouldn’t mind it a bit. Martin chuckled to himself.

 

>>><<<

 

Much later that night, after having finished their jobs and gone to unload their bags at the hotel they were supposed to stay at, Martin and Douglas made their way down the street to the nearest bar.

“Since we were delayed earlier I thought we could skip the small talk and go straight for a bar, have a few drinks and see what happens.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, you never know…” Douglas smiled smugly. “We’re off duty tomorrow.”

Martin swallowed hard and took a deep breath. You can do this.

They stopped outside a cozy looking place and Douglas opened the door for Martin. They had a couple of beers and a glass of whiskey each before Martin was getting too lightheaded to stay fully awake. It had been a long day and he just wanted to go back to the hotel and bury himself in the too-soft bed waiting for him.

“Ready to go?” Douglas asked, noticing the captain’s fatigue.

Martin nodded, and as they stood up reached around Douglas’ neck and clung to him for support. Douglas slid his arm around Martins’ waist, and off they went.

They’d just gotten outside the front door when Martin stopped.

“I need a piss,” he blurted out, looking back over his shoulder with a longing expression.

“And back we go,” Douglas sighed. Had he known Martin was this much of a lightweight drinker he wouldn’t have ordered that last whiskey.

Well in the men’s restroom, Douglas let go of Martin long enough to let him stumble into a cubicle on his own. He listened, though unwanted, as Martin unzipped and released the liquids he’d been holding in. A moment later the bathroom went quiet. Douglas frowned, wondering what had happened. Then he heard a gasp. He walked up the the cubicle where Martin was and knocked.

“You alright, Martin?” he asked, concerned that he might not feel well.

“Douglas,” came a faint whisper.

Douglas pushed the jar open, unlocked as it was, and peeked inside. Martin was standing with his trousers hitched around his knees, one hand on his chest, and the other in his pants.

Douglas raised his eyebrows at the sight. The hand which was partly hidden in Martin’s pants moved up and down leisurely.

Douglas, for once, wasn’t entirely sure of what to do. He wanted to help Martin out but which solution was the best he didn’t know. He could either tell him to stop and escort him back to their hotel room, or he could give him a hand and get it over with while simultaneously getting a feel and a glimpse, of what Martin was like when coming undone. He wanted both, but in doing the latter first he could then do the other.

He stepped closer to the heavily breathing mess of a captain and grabbed his wrist, pulling the hand out of his pants.

“Let me,” Douglas said reassuringly and looked into Martin’s pale the eyes. He didn’t know if Martin was blushing or if it was the alcohol reddening his cheeks and ear, but he looked gorgeous.

Martin looked back at him bleary-eyed. He leaned with his back against the cubicle wall and gestured for Douglas to continue.

Douglas chuckled. He liked drunk Martin: he’d never seen him this relaxed unless he was asleep, although he almost was no as well.

Douglas closed the toilet lid and sat down on it. He hooked his fingers into the waistband of Martin’s pants and pulled him closer and then pulled them down to his knees. Martin wobbled on the spot, placing his hands on each wall to stay up.

Douglas smiled at the sight of the flushed length jutting out from beneath the pale blue shirt.

“My, my,” he mused. “And what do we have here: Captain Vitruvian Man?”

Douglas looked at Martin from head to toe and laughed at the position in which he was standing.

Martin’s face fell immediately and he let go. He hurriedly pulled up his trousers and pants, and as gracefully as he could, stumbled out of the small space into the slightly larger one.

Douglas followed him with an internal sigh.

“come now, Martin,” he said cheerily. “What’s got your knickers in a twist?”

“I knew you were only making fun of me!” Martin burst out, his face covered in a mixture of anger and hurt. “You’re not interested in me. You just wanted to have a laugh - a new story to tell everyone.” He mimicked Douglas’ voice as he went on. “You know this one time when we were in----- wherever the bloody hell we are---”

“Dublin.”

“----we got drunk! And Martin nearly pissed himself, but then he didn’t. No. Instead he got turned on by the fact that I was standing there listening on the other side of the door and got a hard on. Then I pretended to care and went inside to help him out, but I didn’t. Because I don’t do that. And I never really felt anything for him. I just laughed. It was hilarious!”

Martin’s tired eyes stung with the tears that dripped down his burning cheeks.

Douglas reached out for him but he took a step back.

“Just, leave me alone,” Martin said and walked out the door.

“Shit,” Douglas clenched his hands into fists at his sides and tried really hard not to follow. He should have because Martin was still not quite sober, but in doing so he might’ve pushed him further away from him.

 

>>><<<

 

Douglas didn’t see Martin until the next morning in the hotel restaurant during breakfast. He was just arriving down the hallway when Martin left. He’d seen Douglas but avoided him. It seemed Martin remembered the previous night. He hadn’t been that drunk after all.

Douglas simply picked at his bacon when Arthur joined him.

“Morning, Douglas,” he greeter his colleague. He sounded unusually subdued, so Douglas had to look up.

“Good morning, Arthur,” he replied. “What’s the matter?”

Arthur had a guilty expression on his face. He looked at Douglas and then down at his food.

“Are you and skip alright?” he asked with evident worry.

“What did he tell you?”

“Nothing. It’s just that skip came to my room last night. He looked awful. And he was really upset. But he wouldn’t tell me why!”

“What else did he say?” Douglas was thankful Martin had gone to Arthur rather than stayed out all night.

“Nothing. I swear. I thought that since you shared rooms that you might know what happened?”

“Alright,” Douglas sighed. “Thank you, Arthur.”

“Did you fight?” Arthur asked cautiously.

“No.”

“Douglas?”

“I may have been slightly too mean to him. It was just a joke.”

“Well, I think it sounds like you should apologise, don’t you?”

“I was going to, but he ignored me and left when I came down here!” Douglas felt the frustration in him grow. He knew Arthur was just trying to set things straight, but right now Douglas just wanted some time alone to figure out what to say, other than sorry.

“Well I suppose he was going to your room. He did look sleepy. I don’t think he got much sleep last night, but I wouldn’t know - I slept. And he has to fly tomorrow again.”

Douglas thanked Arthur again and hurried off his chair and up the stairs, back to their room.

Arthur was right; Martin lay on his undisturbed bed fully dressed, his back was towards the door, hands tucked in under his pillow and his shoulders hunched.

“Martin?” Douglas said in almost a whisper, and closed the door behind him. “Are you awake?”

Martin didn’t speak, but shifted.

So he was awake.

”Listen, Martin, I wanted to apologise,” he continued while stepping further into the room. “Last night… You were drunk; I... may have been a little drunk; I laughed at something I thought was funny at the moment; you got angry-----”

“You wanted to apologise?” Martin interrupted in a low murmur accenting the word “wanted”, focusing on the past tense.

“I’m sorry. I want to apologise,” Douglas sat down on the edge of his own bed, facing Martin’s back. “We clearly misunderstood each other. I only laughed because I thought it was funny how you looked like the Vitruvian Man standing there. I didn’t laugh at you for being gullible… which you’re not. I am not taking advantage of you or your feelings.”

Martin turned his torso so he could look at Douglas over his shoulder.

“I’m sorry.” Douglas said. “Can you forgive me?”

“Fine,” Martin sighed and turned back. “I’m sorry too. I didn’t think...”

Douglas also sighed, in relief. He got back on his feet and approached the other bed. He leaned down and pressed a light kiss to Martin’s forehead while running his fingers through his hair.

“You know I love you,” Martin mumbled under his breath, nearly inaudibly and immediately buried his face in the pillow.

Douglas smiled. “I know.”

Martin reach out a hand towards Douglas and grabbed one of his. He held it as long as he stayed awake, and Douglas let him.


	2. Douglas' feelings for Martin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Martin's deadline of choosing airlines is getting closer. Douglas knows this and therefore wants to spend as much time with him as possible. What he doesn't know is that Martin's already gotten an offer; he just hasn't decided on what to do yet. Martin hopes they can talk about it over dinner but gets a little distracted.

“How about drinks tonight?” Douglas asked, looking at Martin from the corner of his eyes as he turned the engines off the airplane.

“No. You don’t drink anymore. Cold turkey, remember?” Martin said decisively and frowned, remembering that after Dublin and the argument they’d had, Douglas had sworn off alcohol once again. He’d done very well so far - it hadn’t been easy, but Douglas hadn’t touched another drink since - and Martin wasn’t going to let him relapse. Eight years of sobriety had been thrown out the window that night, but not again. Douglas had said that it had only happened because he didn’t think; he was too nervous for their date to do so. Martin didn’t believe him - Douglas getting nervous; a ridiculous thought - but it was the only explanation he’d ever get.

“Alright. Then how about dinner?” Douglas added.

Since their first “date” a couple of months had already passed. During that time Martin had been to Yverdon-les-Bains for an interview with Swiss Air. He’d been offered a job on the spot, but he had yet to tell his colleagues at MJN. And now his deadline of choosing airlines was getting terrifyingly close. And as if the pressure of such a big decision wasn’t enough Douglas had, since then, spent an unbelieveable amount of time together with Martin. Martin was happy for that, not only because he’d been able to keep Douglas sober, but he’d been enjoying it as well; he’d been getting to know Douglas better. But now he was starting to feel just the slightest bit smothered: he felt like he didn’t have time to do anything else he was supposed to do, with Icarus, MJN and Douglas taking up his time. He thought about saying no to dinner, but it might’ve been just what he needed to relax and coming to a final decision. Maybe he could tell Douglas, get it off his chest, and then Douglas could help him to decide? Maybe that was just what he needed; someone to talk to about it?

“Well, I think some good food after today’s lovely array of clients is just what I need,” Douglas went on with a sigh.

“Alright,” Martin replied, and made Douglas smile.

 

>>><<<

 

As soon as every aspect of their work was done for this time, Douglas showed Martin to his car and they drove off. What Martin hadn’t known was that Douglas had meant dinner at his place rather than at some restaurant, and was surprised when they stopped outside a rather expensive looking condo.

Martin had never been to Douglas’ new place which he’d moved into after his separation, but when he entered the large open space flat on the top floor, he was surprised at how clean and sterile everything looked. He’d imagined Douglas to be the kind of man to live in a period cottage outside town, not in an modern 21st Century flat where almost everything was black and white.

“What would you like?” Douglas asked from the kitchen as he rummaged through his fridge, pantry and freezer, and Martin showed himself around.

“Whatever you’ve got, I guess - I’m not a fussy eater,” he replied from the bedroom across the sitting area.

He could hear the distinct clinking of ice cubes being dropped into glasses soon followed by footsteps. Douglas stood in the doorway with two drinks in his hands, one of which he offered to Martin.

Martin looked at the clear liquid and raised his eyebrows in suspicion.

“Good, isn’t it?” Douglas said and tasted it himself.

Martin took the smallest sip of his: it was ice water with a hint of lemon.

“Yeah,“ Martin smiled back at him.

“Shall we perhaps take these into the next room; perhaps the breakfast bar?” Douglas gestured Martin back to the main room, and as they sat down on the black and silver leather-clad stools, Martin asked: “So, what’s the occasion?”

“Should there be one?”

“You cooking dinner for me… I feel like there is,” Martin glanced at Douglas; his smile faded and his expression softened.

“I wanted to apologise,” he said, looking down into his glass as he put it on the countertop. “For Dublin.”

“Douglas,” Martin protested. “I- I’ve already said it’s alright: forgotten. It was two months ago. We were both a bit drunk, and I got mad over nothing. I should be the one to apologise. I’m sorry-----”

Douglas turned towards him, leaned in and pressed his lips against Martin’s. Martin’s grip around his glass tightened, the condensation dripped onto his lap, and he closed his eyes, letting Douglas control the moment. He felt Douglas’ hand slide down his thigh. His fingers weaved into Martin’s ginger waves and pulled him closer. Martin’s nose crushed against Douglas’ warm cheek and he could feel Douglas’ tongue softly lick at his bottom lip.

Martin leaned back. He smiled at the pleasant softness of Douglas’ lips, as did Douglas at his. Before Douglas could lean in and do it again though, Martin put a hand on his chest.

“I hate to spoil the fun,” he said shyly, a blush creeping up his freckled cheeks. “But I haven’t had anything since lu-----” His stomach growled loudly.

Douglas raised his eyebrows and chuckled.

“Of course,” he said. “Neither have I. Tell me what you want. I’ve probably got it.”

“How about baked potatoes?”

Douglas laughed along with Martin while heading back to the fridge.

“No. It’s my treat, and I want you to enjoy something you don’t get too often. How about...”

“You don’t happen to have any carp, do you?”

Again they laughed merrily, alas Douglas didn’t have any.

Eventually they settled for a Chinese stir fry after Douglas’ own recipe. Martin helped him chop the vegetables. It felt strangely at home, standing there side by side, cooking together like an old married couple.

Martin smiled at the thought. Douglas would probably make a great housewife, and husband come to think of it. Once again Martin asked himself if there was indeed anything Douglas couldn’t do. Martin snorted.

Douglas asked him what was so amusing, but Martin wouldn’t tell.

After dinner they put their dishes away in the machine and collapsed onto the dark couch in the middle of the big room. Douglas turned the telly on, put his feet on the coffee table and casually wrapped an arm around Martin’s shoulders.

This was even more comfortable, thought Martin to himself and snuggled closer. He felt his eyelids become heavy. Soon he was taking steady, deep breaths; eyes closed; head leaned against Douglas’ chest.

Douglas glanced down at him with silent affection. He wound a finger around a stray lock of Martin’s fringe hanging over his right eye and gently pulled it back in place.

Martin jerked nonetheless in surprise and looked up at him.

“Oh,” he said, slightly disoriented. “I must’ve dozed off.”

“Quite alright,” Douglas murmured. His eyes traced the curve of Martin’s bottom lip, and the hand which now hovered beside his face cupped his chin. Douglas tilted Martin’s head upwards and leaned down to kiss him. Martin’s eyes slid shut and he inhaled deeply through his nose. Douglas’ cologne embraced his senses. One of Martin’s hands found its way up Douglas’ arm and clutched at the sleeve of his shirt.

“Do you want to..?”  Douglas looked to the bedroom and back.

“Yes,” Martin replied. He was surprised at how fast and truthfully he’d answered without blushing, stuttering or doing anything else embarrassing.

“Uhm, could I- could I just use the shower first? It’s just that I haven’t showered since yesterday morning...” Martin hesitated on the couch, looking down at his feet as Douglas started taking off his shoes.

He turned towards Martin and gestured towards the bedroom where he had an en suite.

“Be my guest,” he said with a smile. “There are towels in the cupboard in there.”

“Thank you.”

Martin locked himself in the bathroom a moment later and slowly got undressed, folding his clothes neatly and putting them on the countertop next to the sink. He left his pants on top, not sure yet if he should put them on afterwards or not.

He took his time, meticulously cleaning every inch of his skin, soaping the more important parts vigorously. He could tell by the look of Douglas’ flat that he was something of a clean-freak, and thought what he himself must have looked like standing there in his old, tattered clothes in contrast to all those white walls.

A moment later he turned the shower off and found himself a towel, just where Douglas had said they’d be. When he was dry he pulled on his pants, against all thought of them not being as clean as he would have liked them to be. But he wasn’t going to leave the room completely naked: he felt exposed as it was with his half hard dick between his legs. The thought of the two of them together made Martin tremble with anticipation.

When he entered the bedroom, one arm across his chest holding the other because he felt self-conscious, what he first saw was Douglas, dressed in nothing but a pair of boxer briefs as well. He was sitting on the edge of the king-size bed, facing the bathroom door. He watched as Martin came out and his face lit up when he saw their matching outfits, though the outline of Martin’s erection was much sweeter to look upon.

“Well,” he sighed. “I was hoping for lace, but I guess the cotton works as well… especially since it’s in such a marvelous shade of red. It really matches that embarrassment that is so obvious on your face.”

Martin was blushing. Last time they had tried to get this far, a couple of weeks prior, he had been so nervous that he had almost been sick, but some of that could have been the result of the glass of wine he wasn’t used to but had been served during dinner then. Now he felt nervous again, but not sick, much to his delight, though he did feel slightly faint - the floor beneath him seemed to tip to the side as he stepped forward, like a ship on the sea.

“Martin,” Douglas said calmly. “It’s alright: relax.”

Martin tried. He took a deep breath and let his arm fall to his side, then took another step forward. Douglas stayed in place, letting Martin take his time; get in the moment. He knew that if he made one mistake, Martin would dart out of the room like a scared deer. He’d decided that this was going to be the time - their first time together. He reached out a hand, which Martin took, and pulled him closer. He wrapped his arms around Martin’s midsection, running his hands up and down his back and thighs. Martin lifted his hands out of the way and watched as Douglas planted a series of kisses up his stomach to his chest. It made Martin shiver. The hairs on his body stood up and his breath trembled.

“Are you alright?” Douglas glanced up at him, looking slightly worried.

“Yes. Yes, I’m fine,” Martin said with a nervous chuckle.

“Martin, if you don’t want to do this, we can stop. It’s not too late.”

“No, it’s fine.”

“Are you sure?”

Martin nodded and placed his hands on Douglas’ shoulders as if to punctuate it. Douglas sighed.

“I am sure, Douglas,” Martin reassured him. And to let him know that he absolutely meant it, he gathered what courage he had and leaned down, locking his lips to Douglas’ once again.

Baffled by the sheer nerve that the action must have taken Martin, Douglas smiled, but didn’t break their connection. He lingered, eventually flicking his tongue out to lick at Martin’s lips. Martin parted them to let him enter and slid his own tongue around Douglas’. He pressed himself up against him, crushing their bodies together. Douglas had to lean against his hands not to fall backwards.

He liked how Martin had over the weeks become more confident in his actions: he didn’t initiate cuddles and kisses and such, but when Douglas well had started, Martin didn’t back down, even though it sometimes took him a moment to get into it.

Martin straightened himself, catching his breath while Douglas did the same. Douglas then stood up, slid an arm around Matin’s midsection and turned them over. He pushed Martin down onto the solid mattress and kissed his neck, collarbone, chest and stomach, while he sank to his knees.

Martin leaned back on his hands and looked down at Douglas as he kissed the inside of his thigh. Martin’s breath trembled, as did his legs. He was struggling to keep quiet.

Douglas glanced up at him.

“Quite alright there, Martin?” he asked between kisses, moving further up.

“Yeah, just…” he couldn’t say it. It was too embarrassing. He wasn’t good with expressing what he wanted in words…. or in actions.

“Just?” Douglas pushed on. He wanted to hear Martin say it or he wouldn’t do it, only then could he be sure Martin really wanted it.

“Just,” Martin inhaled. “I- I want you to, uhm… to… Oh, get on with it already!”

“Your wish is my command...” Douglas smiled against the soft skin. “Captain.”

In one smooth motion Douglas positioned himself further in between Martin’s legs and hooked his fingers in the waistband of his pants. He leaned in a pressed an open mouthed kiss to the outline of Martin’s erection, through the thin fabric, causing a gasp to escape Martin and his back to arch.

Douglas pulled, the boxer briefs slowly sliding off Martin’s hips, down his thighs and off to be discarded wherever they ended up on the floor.

He then hooked his arms under and around Martin’s hips, locking him in place, making him unable to move. He looked at the hard, flushed length resting against Martin’s stomach, with interest and gave it a gentle, experimental lick from base to head. Martin clenched his fists into the duvet. Douglas sucked at the head to get a taste of the single drop of precome just leaking out. He hummed, sending vibrations through Martin’s dick and deep into his lower abdomen. Martin moaned and bit his lip.

"Hmm, you liked that, huh?" Douglas asked, knowing fully well that Martin did. "Then how about this?"

He grabbed the erection with one hand and directed it into his mouth, sucking it down as deep as he could, and then back up. He did so slowly and applied only the faintest amount of pressure to his ministration.

Martin tipped his head back, his mouth hung open and his eyes slid close. His arms gave way and he fell back on his back with a gasp, the duvet thudding softly as his head hit it. It momentarily spread the scent of Douglas around him, and he inhaled deeply to enjoy it.

Douglas removed his arms from around his partner’s legs and placed his hands under his knees instead, pushing one up to gain access to his dusky pink, puckered hole. He let his lips pop off the head of Martin’s dick and traced them in an invisible path down its length, over his scrotum and perineum to his hole.

Martin shivered in his arms and tried not to squirm while Douglas worked him open with his tongue and fingers; one at first, accompanied by his tongue for lubrication; the two, scissoring him open; then three to let Martin get used to the stretch. And as soon as he felt that Martin was ready he stroked Martin’s dick a few times to elicit some precome which he used as lube to slick up the hole further.

“Ready?” Douglas asked while rummaging through his bedside drawer for a condom.

“Yes,” Martin whispered. “Yes...”

Douglas found what he was looking for and tore the wrapping open, roll on the latex protection and then positioned himself so his hips were at the same height as Martin’s and lined up his cock. Douglas pushed himself against Martin’s hole; he thrust his hips forward just the slightest but moved nowhere. Martin held his breath. Anticipation and nerves had gotten the better of him during the last couple of seconds. His hands clutched Douglas’ forearms in an iron grip and his eyes were screwed shut.

“It- it won’t go,” he breathed.

“Relax,” Douglas’ voice was soothing the pain some and Martin wished he would keep talking. “Martin, relax.” He repeated when Martin only seemed to get stiffer.

Douglas moved his hands, forcing Martin to let go, and rubbed circles on his tense shoulders. When even that didn’t seem to help, Douglas slid one hand down between them, down Martin’s torso and through the sparse growth of ginger pubes, and grasped his flushed erection. He gave it another couple of strokes which immediately seemed to help. Martin’s white knuckled hands relaxed and turned to their original colour, and his eyebrows straightened, flattening out his forehead.

“That’s it,” Douglas hummed. Pleased at the result he kept stroking, slowly making Martin’s entire body go slack on the mattress.

Suddenly it was as if Martin’s ass was trying to swallow him. The head of Douglas’ cock popped in, in one motion, making them both moan. And then it seemed to want more; Douglas slid inside in small increments. It wouldn’t go all the way, but it was in. Douglas paused to let Martin adjust to his girth. It wasn’t a big stretch from the three fingers Douglas had used just a while ago, but it had Martin pressing his legs together on either side of him.

Douglas leaned down and planted a series of tender kisses down Martin’s flat stomach. Martin opened his eyes and looked down. The sight of Douglas buried in him, his own dick glistening with precome in the dim light, and Douglas’ face turned towards his made the blood in Martin’s body pool in his groin. He took a deep breath, trying to hold on for a little longer. He didn’t want to ruin this by coming too soon. Douglas had at one point whispered to him: “I want this to be perfect.”

Douglas smiled and massaged Martin’s legs which he’d repositioned over his shoulders. He locked his dark eyes with Martin’s pale ones and in that moment he knew that

“I love you.”

Martin stopped breathing and his entire body shuddered violently. His abdominal muscles spasmed rapidly several times as his dick throbbed in Douglas’ hand, and he came all over himself. His ass contracted around Douglas’ cock and instantly the pain of the stretch was gone and there was only blissful pleasure. Martin sobbed in ecstasy, fisting the duvet beneath him with both hands, tugging at it as his back arched off it. His mind went completely blank: he forgot how to breathe or move all together, only watch as his semen spread across his stomach in thick white stripes. He collapsed back against the mattress, out of breath, his head spinning and his pulse racing. He saw stars. And he could’ve sworn Douglas could see his heart beating in his chest.

Douglas leaned against the bed and hung his head between his shoulders. He tried holding back his own orgasm while Martin floated in the delightful hypersensitivity of post orgasmic heaven and complete satisfaction. As soon as Martin moved again, sliding his hands up and down his torso, Douglas moved too. He pulled out a bit and thrust back in. Martin let out a keen “oh” and rubbed his slender fingers across and around his peaked nipples. Douglas continued his ministrations for a moment, going at a leisurely pace as he didn’t want to come yet. The thrust once more and in the midst of it, Martin’s hips jerked and he arched his back again, burying his head into the duvet, stretching it as far back as he could.

“Douglas,” he gasped. His flaccid, spent dick gave a twitch of fondness.

Douglas smiled and repeated the motion, pulling back just the tiniest bit and then thrusting back in, grazing Martin’s prostate. Martin squirmed beneath him.

“Almost there,” Douglas murmured and vaguely picked up the pace. He kept it up for another minute before he went still, thrusting as deep as he could as he came. He grabbed Martin by his thighs and unconsciously dug his fingers into the soft flesh. Martin and he groaned loudly.

Douglas pulled out just a moment later and slipped off the condom, tied it and put it aside. He lay down next to Martin on the bed and pulled him into his arms. He kissed him passionately over and over until Martin started giggling.

Douglas looked at him and smiled back.

“Now, it wasn’t perfect,” he said casually. “But it was amazing.”

Martin nodded in agreement and hummed. His cheeks and ears turned once again into a lovely shade of pink from both the warmth and the slight self-consciousness he felt as he snuggled closer to Douglas. He remembered the reason why he’d come over in the first place, but at the moment it didn’t matter because he felt great and he did absolutely no want to spoil the moment. Their first time together. It was something he would cherish for long. Their future could wait a little longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you wish to spread this on tumblr, please reblog it from me: [lustfullygazing](http://lustfullygazing.tumblr.com/)  
> 


	3. Martin's bravery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things don’t start off very well when Martin invites Douglas into his room, but the night gets better. Martin just can't believe the luck he's had in finding a lover like Douglas.

One day Martin gathered up some courage and asked Douglas over to his place. He didn’t really feel comfortable about it considering he lived with a bunch students, in their attic, but he felt like he wanted to return the favour of Douglas inviting him to his place a week earlier. Martin had thought of doing it sooner, but work with both MJN and Icarus had kept him busy. Now he finally had a day off and the subject of choosing airlines was still hanging over him like a storm cloud, so today he would bring the subject up no matter what.

 

>>><<<

 

Douglas arrived later that night, standing by the door, an umbrella held above him. It was pouring outside. Martin greeted him with a smile and let him in. Soon they were up the three flights of stairs, on the landing by Martin’s door.

“So this is it…” Martin stood in the doorframe and showed Douglas into his attic room, a long but narrow space with each piece of furniture carefully picked out to fit along the walls and under the sloping roof. Douglas looked around the small space and smiled. It was cozy - not exactly a grown man’s flat, but it had the necessities of a private room. Behind the door, there was a closet-sized bathroom with a tiny sink and loo. Martin’s single bed was placed headboard against the bathroom wall; his desk under the small window in the other end of the room, and underneath it stood a low wooden stool with a pillow placed on top of it. Douglas frowned at it, wondering how Martin could possibly sit on it for a longer while when playing his flight simulator game.

“Make yourself at home,” Martin said and turned to go back downstairs to make tea.

“Alright,” Douglas said and paced back and forth a couple of times through the length of the room before shooting a glance at the nightstand. He bent down to open it and his smile grew when he saw what was inside.

A moment later Martin came in with two cups in his hands. He placed them on the drawer and turned to close the door.

"Feeling a bit lonely, captain?" Douglas asked with delight. He was hiding something. Martin knew it immediately. He spun around in horror, and much to his fear Douglas had found what Martin hoped he wouldn't.

"What's this?" Douglas asked nonchalantly.

"That's, uhm... That's..." Martin stuttered. He was beyond embarrassed; his face burned uncomfortably and he had a difficult time seeing Douglas in the eye; he could only stare at what he was holding up in front of him, wriggling it about. He felt like sinking through the floor. He’d never expected Douglas to go through his drawers.

Martin strode over to him and snatched the flesh coloured rubber dildo out of his hands.

"Shut up!" he cried and bolted for the bathroom to lock himself in. He knew it was a childish thing to do, nothing that could solve the situation in any way, but Douglas hadn't been much more mature in doing what he’d done.

"Martin," came Douglas' voice from the other side of the door. "I'm sorry, that was uncalled for."

Martin didn't know how or what to answer. He took a deep breath, which only made him feel worse: his entire body went numb and started to tremble. He had to sit down, so he let his knees give way, and slid down against the door. He threw the dildo into the sink, out of eyeshot.

"You know," Douglas continued. "I only said that so I could say that you won't have to worry about that anymore. You’ve got me after all."

That was the first sign of Douglas thinking this relationship would last. Martin had constantly been feeling insecure, even though only a week ago Douglas had for the first time said “I love you”. Martin swallowed back the lump in his throat.

"Besides," Douglas added in a lower voice, right next to Martin’s ear, on the other side. "It might come to use."

A sudden throbbing replaced the trembling in Martin's body and the air in the small room felt thicker.

"So why don't you come on out?" Douglas said in that same low tone.

Martin exhaled through his mouth, hoping it would help, but the blood already made a beeline to his groin. He stumbled back up on his legs, grabbed the dildo and unlocked the door. He glared at Douglas as he opened it.

“I’m sorry,” Douglas apologised and let Martin through.

“Alright,” Martin smiled shyly. Douglas’ words replayed in his mind as he put the dildo back in it’s place. “Sit down wherever you want,” he added quietly. “And drink your tea.” He gestured to the cups on the drawer, but Douglas ignored them.

He sat down the bed and gasped when he felt like he was about to sink right through it. He’d never felt a bed so soft. Martin sat down next to him and stiffened when he tipped towards Douglas because of the mattress’ softness. He hit Douglas’ side with his elbow, but Douglas seemed unfazed. He simply smiled fondly at his lover and wrapped his arm around his shoulders. He gave the top of Martin’s head a kiss and chuckled into his hair.

“captain,” he murmured. “I see you liked my suggestion.”

Martin covered his erection with his hands and leaned into Douglas’ shoulder, burying his face in the crook of his neck.

“Come here,” Douglas said and tilted Martin’ face up to press their lips together.

Martin loved kissing Douglas, it made him forget about everything. He could lose himself in the moment. For example, he didn’t notice when Douglas began tugging at the hem of his t-shirt, pulling it upwards, wanting it off.

Douglas lenaed back from the kiss and pulled with more effort, and realising this, Martin lifted his arms and let the shirt come off and be thrown on the floor. His chest heaved with anticipation as Douglas went for his jeans, unbuttoning, unzipping and pulling them off.

When even his socks were removed and he was only in his pants, Martin lay down on his back, head propped up on his pillow. He watched as Douglas removed the final garment.

Douglas smiled as he discarded the pants onto the pile of other clothes. He leaned over Martin and reached yet again for the nightstand. He did not only pick up the dildo, but also a condom and the bottle of lube Martin had stashed away in there.

“Care to do the honours?” he asked, looking down at his partner.

Martin took a deep breath, steadying himself mentally, and grabbed the items. He pushed Douglas back and sat up. He got on his feet for a moment before sinking down to the floor, on his knees.

Douglas swallowed hard. It was quite the sight seeing Martin so calm whilst doing something so private without involving him.

Douglas made himself more comfortable, leaning his back to the wall as he watched Martin pop the cap of the lube open and pour some into his hand. He placed the bottle and the dildo on the floor next to him. The condom he didn’t need yet. He reached around himself and groped at his hole with his slick fingers. One fingertip immediately slipped in. His dick twitched with delight. His mouth hung slack as he pushed it deeper, followed by another finger. He leaned his free hand against the wooden floor and pushed back further. As soon as the two fingers freely worked in and out of him, Martin pulled them out and added another drop of lube on them. Douglas’ eyes were fixated on the drop slowly sliding down the crack between them. He shifted his hips; his trousers were feeling tighter around the groin.

Martin straightened, putting his weight back on his legs. He picked up the dildo and gave the head a tender kiss, daring a glance over at Douglas. Douglas smiled at him.

Martin let the head slip into his mouth briefly and then slicked the whole length up with his lubed hand. He then rose on his knees to attach the suctioncup on the bottom of the dildo to the floor, beneath him. He gave it a tug to see if it was properly stuck and licked his lips. He positioned himself over it and slowly sank down. The blunt head pressed at his hole, the feeling of which sent a shiver up Martin’s back. He arched it as he impaled himself. The dildo slid inside him without problem. He let out a gasp as it grazed past his prostate. His eyes slid shut, he tried to relax further to get it deeper.

Suddenly Martin’s foot slid out from beneath his leg and he was impaled on the dildo to the hilt. A whimper escaped his lips; his mouth hung open; his head lolled back against his shoulders.

“Dear lord,” came a whisper from the bed. Douglas leaned forward, looking closely at what was left visible of the dildo. “That’s-----” Arousal made his trousers tent to the max. He wasn’t used to his lovers giving him a performance like this. But then again, he’d never asked them to until now. Martin had never exposed himself like this to anyone before either. His cheeks burned with excitement and embarrassment as he peeked at Douglas, and smiled weakly - it wasn’t every day that Douglas became speechless.

Douglas moved closer to the edge and put his feet on the floor. He cupped Martin’s chin and tilted it upwards. Martin’s eyes stayed closed at their lips met once more. Martin moaned into Douglas’ mouth when Douglas’ hand found its way to the back of his head where his fingers weaved into his hair and tugged at the shorter stands at the nape of his neck.

Martin started moving his hips in earnest, riding the dildo as Douglas’ tongue moves around his. He was starting to feel faint with the pleasure. He needed air.

“Douglas,” he said breathlessly and sank back down on his knees with a small gasp.

Douglas bit his bottom lip and started to unbutton his shirt. He proceeded to take it off completely while still observing Martin’s ministrations.

“Martin,” he then said. “Come up here. And take that with you.” He nodded at the dildo.

Martin looked up at him and nodded back. He detached the toy from the floorboards and slid off it momentarily while scrambling up on the bed where Douglas had laid down. Martin straddled his hips comfortably, welcoming the softness of the mattress against his knees.

"Martin, you're trembling," Douglas stated, his hands sliding up and down Martin’s thighs, a slight worry in his voice.

"It's just----,"

"You don't have to be nervous: it's just me."

"Well, that's it! It's because it's you."

Douglas smiled and wrapped his arms around Martin's waist, pulling him down on top of himself.

“Oh, but captain, you seemed to be doing really well just a second ago,” he whispered into Martin’s ear.

“Shut up.”

Douglas pressed a kiss to Martin’s neck and let go of him. He asked Martin to move further up so he could have a taste of that delectable flushed thing he had jutting out between his legs. Martin did as he was asked and shuffled up, straddling Douglas’ shoulders instead, forcing his legs further apart. Douglas flicked his tongue out and licked at the head of Martin’s erection, sucking up the precome dripping down its length. Martin put his hands on the edge of the headboard and looked down. He gasped when he felt Douglas unexpectedly press the dildo back against his ass. He reached around and helped Douglas blindly line it up against his hole. Still slick and loose, his ass welcomed the head without problem, sucking it in, making Martin moan.

Douglas hummed around Martin’s dick, sending vibrations down it to his balls. Martin squirmed. He thrust the toy further up his ass with Douglas’ hand still around it.

“Harder,” he murmured and let go so Douglas could take over.

Douglas grabbed the dildo firmer and started thrusting it in and pulling it out with slow but hard motions. Martin moaned above him when it hit his prostate. His dick leaked into Douglas’ mouth. Douglas had to swallow, which in turn made Martin whimper as another shiver shot through him. He was getting closer to the edge. It wouldn’t take long before he toppled over if Douglas kept it up.

“Wait,” Martin suddenly said and stiffened. He put a hand on Douglas’ cheek and looked down. Douglas met his eyes and let Martin’s dick pop out of his mouth.

“Yes, Martin?” he said.

“Let me...” Martin swallowed. “Do it too.”

Douglas raised his eyebrows but didn’t object. He wondered what it would be like to have Martin’s full lips closed around his own, aching erection which was still tucked away in his trousers, untouched.

“Be my guest,” he replied with a cheeky smile and waited while Martin, the toy still inside him, turned around and bent over, unzipped his trousers and pulled them and his pants down enough to free his cock.

Martin grabbed it with both hands and kissed the leaking slit. His own dick dripped onto Douglas’ cheek.

“Naughty, captain Crieff,” Douglas hummed but proceeded to lick at Martin’s erection, now hanging right above his face.

Martin closed his eyes and sucked Douglas’ length inside his mouth with vigour. He rolled his hips in time with Douglas’ movements, his hand again grasping the toy inside Martin’s ass while his tongue flicked over the slit of his dick.

It wasn’t long after that, that Martin’s hips were uncontrollably bucking forwards and his dick twitching, and he was gasping around Douglas while into his open mouth. Douglas happily swallowed what he could even though some of it spilled over and dripped down his chin. He slowly pulled the dildo out of Martin, put it aside, and pressed a finger against the gaping hole, watching it as it fluttered.

The sight made his own cock throb wonderfully. Martin could feel it and therefore started sucking faster, his hand moving in tandem with his lips, up and down. Douglas threw his head back against the pillow, and with a silent inhale from between clenched teeth he grabbed Martin’s thighs and he came with a loud groan. Martin pulled off just in time and gasped when his face was splattered with the thick fluid.

He soon got off Douglas and reached for his shirt on the floor to wipe the come off his face. He then wiped off Douglas’ slowly softening cock and himself. The turned back towards Douglas and reached for the toy by his side, but Douglas grabbed his arm and pulled him down on top of him.He wrapped his arms around Martin, tightly and held him there for a moment. He was still coming down from his climax and all he wanted now was to snuggle up close with his lover.

“Leave it,” he whispered.

Martin hummed in agreement and closed his eyes, leaning his head against Douglas’ chest, listening to his heartbeat steadying. He felt so comfortable in his arms. He could stay there forever. But he wasn’t sure if it was going to last that long.

“Douglas,” he mumbled. It was time to get it over with - the one thing he’d been planning to talk to Douglas about for a week; the thing he’d been dreading. He couldn’t keep it to himself any longer. “I got the job.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you wish to spread this on tumblr, please reblog it from me: [lustfullygazing](http://lustfullygazing.tumblr.com/)


	4. Douglas' bravery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Martin has just told Douglas that he got the job with Swiss Air. He doesn’t know how Douglas will react or what he’ll say. And he still doesn’t know what he’ll do. But the subject is finally in the open. The question is if Douglas can help him solve the problem?

“You what?” Douglas looked at Martin questioningly.

Martin hid his face in the crook of his arm which was propped up on Douglas’ chest.

“I got the job.” he repeated quietly. “At Swiss Air. The day I went for the interview. They said I can start in June. What am going to do?”

Douglas pondered this question for a while. The room fell into silence. Martin’s mind was reeling. What if he took the job? He’d have to leave his old one at MJN, and the van. He’d also have to leave Douglas, and Arthur and Carolyn. He’d have to leave his mother, who wasn’t well, and his sister and his brother too, even though he didn’t see them much as it was.

Douglas wanted Martin to take the job; get a proper income; a security. But that meant Martin moving to Switzerland. Douglas would be left behind, unless…

“It’s your decision, Martin,” he said. “But if you’ll have me, I’ll be with you all the way.”

Martin lifted his head to look at Douglas who was smiling softly at him.

“What?” he said, disbelief layered thick in his voice.

“I love you, Martin, and if you want to be with me as much as I want to be with you - because, honestly, I can see the two of us live together peacefully - while taking the job with S.A. then I will move to Zürich with you.”

Martin still couldn’t believe his ears. He blinked rapidly while trying to wrap his mind around it: Move to Zürich. With Douglas.

“So, you’ll... move to Zürich... with me, if I take the job?” he repeated slowly rather to himself that to Douglas.

“That’s right,” Douglas reassured him.

“But what would you do there?”

The images of Douglas as a housewife replayed in his mind, and for a moment he felt a wave of relief washing over him.

“I can take on early retirement. I’ve got a retirement fund with a sizeable amount saved up for just such an occasion. Or maybe I could teach flying to-----”

Martin chuckled.

“What?”

“You? Teach flying?” Martin laughed. “You’ve never even read the Operations Manual. How are you planning to teach it to others?”

Douglas laughed along. Martin was right. He had read the books required when studying to become a pilot once, but since then he’d simply relied on luck. He wasn’t as devoted to the job as Martin was.

“But are you sure?” Martin asked a moment later. “Would you do that for me? Move to Zürich if I took the job?”

“Yes,” Douglas ran his hand through Martin’s hair. “I’ll be by your side wherever you go.”

Martin moved up on Douglas’ chest and locked their lips together. He pressed himself as close as he could, crushing his nose against Douglas’ cheek. Douglas wrapped his arms tight around Martin’s shoulders.

“But what do you think I should do?” Martin asked a few second later when he felt like he needed air and leaned back.

“It’s your decision - one I cannot make for you.”

Douglas petted Martin’s head soothingly while he let him think it over.

Martin hadn’t gotten the help he really needed to make a decision. If anything, Douglas coming with him if he went made it even harder. If Douglas wouldn’t have come, Martin would have most likely stayed, because then everything he wanted would be in Britain. But now he could decide either way. He tried to go through the pros and cons. In Zürich, it was like Douglas said, he would have a promising future, a steady income, a security - in Britain he had friends and family, one of which you could always get new ones of. In Zürich Douglas would be living with him by giving up everything he had - friends, family and security. In Britain they could, if they wanted, move in together anyway. In Zürich Douglas would retire while Martin would keep working - in Britain Martin would keep flying a small charter jet with Douglas by his side, but hardly see him otherwise since he’d also keep up the work with Icarus. Zürich was a dream come true.

Martin felt torn. It was a decision he didn’t want to have to make.

He got up on his knees and looked down at his lover. They gazed into each others’ eyes in silence. Douglas placed his hands on either of Martin’s thighs and stroked circles with his thumbs in invisible patterns on the soft skin.

Martin closed his eyes for a moment and tipped his head back. He took a deep breath. Suddenly his stormy ocean of a mind calmed and he was able to see more clearly. He looked back at Douglas and smiled.

“I’ve decided .”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you wish to spread this on tumblr, please reblog it from me: [lustfullygazing](http://lustfullygazing.tumblr.com/)

**Author's Note:**

> If you wish to spread this on tumblr, please reblog it from me: [lustfullygazing](http://lustfullygazing.tumblr.com/)  
> 


End file.
